Online Safety

Worried about something that’s happened online?

The online world can be a positive space where you can keep in touch with friends and make new ones. But the internet can also be negatively used by people to target and hurt others. If you are ever worried about the way someone is communicating with you online or about online sexual abuse, there are steps you can take and lots of people that can help.

It is common to feel a mix of emotions if something happens online that makes you feel worried or uncomfortable. The situation might make you feel confused, angry, embarrassed, betrayed or guilty. You might start feeling these emotions when it happens, or much later on. There are no right or wrong ways to feel and remember you are never to blame.

What to do if you’re worried about something online

Tell someone. The most important thing to do is tell someone you trust what has happened. Speak to a parent, carer, teacher or other trusted adult. They will understand and be able to help you. Take a look at our tips for having a difficult conversation with an adult.
Report to CEOP. If you are worried about online abuse or the way someone has been communicating online, report it to CEOP and they can support you.
Contact a support service. If you don’t feel like you can speak to an adult you know and trust, there are plenty of support services that offer free and confidential advice, like Childline and The Mix.
Remember it’s not your fault. If someone has pressured, forced or tricked you into sharing naked photos or videos of yourself or anyone else or doing anything you didn’t want to do, this is sexual abuse, and it’s never your fault.
Block the person who is contacting you. If you are receiving hurtful messages from someone online, you can block or report them to stop them contacting you.

What is online blackmail?

Online blackmail is when someone threatens to share private information, images or videos of a person unless something is done for them.

Young people sometimes send nude pictures or videos to flirt or have fun with people they like online. Often, they believe that they won’t be shared any further and, most of the time, images and videos do stay private.

Unfortunately, there are some people online who try to trick or pressure young people into sending images or videos of themselves. Once someone has an image or a video, they may threaten to share it publicly, unless the young person does something for them, like send them:

money or gift cards (sometimes called ‘financially motivated sexual extortion’ or ‘sextortion’); or,
more nude images.

Often, these people won’t carry out the threat, but sometimes they do.

When someone makes a threat like this, it is blackmail. Online blackmail is a form of abuse and is a criminal offence.

Anyone can be a victim of online blackmail, and it is never a young person’s fault if it happens to them.

Spotting warning signs

Here are some things you can look out for that might mean someone wants to blackmail you:

They have a fake profile. Some people will set up a fake profile online, and pretend to be someone they are not. These can be difficult to spot but their profile may be minimal, and you may not have mutual friends. If you do have mutual friends, you might not know anyone that has met them in person.
They’re moving too fast. They try to develop a relationship with you very quickly. They might be flirty, tell you they like you very soon into to chatting, or ask for nude images. Some may send nude images to you first.
It seems too good to be true. They might say they have an interesting job, like a modelling scout or say they know a way you can make quick money. They might offer you a job or lots of money in exchange for images. These may not be nude images to begin with, but they could start asking for them. If something feels too good to be true, it’s safest to say no, block and report them.
They tell you they’ve got embarrassing images or information about you. Some blackmailers might tell you they have hacked your account and have your nudes or personal information. Or, they may send you a nude image or video of you they have created using AI tools and apps. They might threaten to share these unless money is given to them.
They pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with. They may repeatedly ask you to do things you don’t feel comfortable with, such as sending nudes. They might even say nasty things like telling you you’re boring if you don’t do what they ask. It’s never ok for someone to pressure you to do things you don’t want to and there are places you can get help.

Where to get help

If someone is pressuring you to send nudes or share information online, leave the conversation, and block and report them.

If you’ve shared nudes with someone and they are threatening you, including demanding more nudes or money from you, stay calm and don’t send them anything as they will just ask for more. Instead you should:

block the account
report the account to the platform they are messaging you on;
and tell an adult you trust what has happened. They can help to report the crime to the police.

If you don’t have anyone to tell, you can report it to CEOP who will help you and try to make you safe. Learn more about what happens when you make a report to CEOP.

If someone has shared an image or video of you online without your consent and you’re under 18, you can get help to get it removed. You can use:

Report Remove from Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation to remove images that have been or might be shared
Take It Down from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to remove or stop the sharing of images

Dealing with your feelings

Feeling scared, embarrassed or anxious about what has happened is normal. Remember, it is never your fault if you are blackmailed online, and it can happen to anyone. Talking about it can really help, particularly if you feel overwhelmed.

A trusted adult, like a teacher, social worker or family member will listen, and support you. Childline and The Mix can support you confidentially if you feel like you’re struggling with how you feel. The Internet Watch Foundation also has advice if someone has threatened to share images of you online.

Stalking

Stalking is when someone repeatedly and persistently acts in a way that is unwanted towards another person. This behaviour can make the person being stalked feel worried, scared or unsafe. Stalking is a criminal offence.

Dispelling the myths

Stalkers are often portrayed in the media or in TV shows and movies as ‘creepy’ strangers who are obsessed with celebrities and have dedicated a significant part of their lives to following them around. We also sometimes hear the term ‘stalking’ used in banter or flirting, or laughed off as flattering.

In reality:

Stalkers can be anyone. They can be someone you know, or someone you don’t. In most stalking cases, there is some kind of relationship between the person being stalked and the person stalking.
Stalking doesn’t just happen in person, it can also happen online. The stalker could be someone you met online, or they could be using online platforms to stalk you (this is called cyberstalking).
Stalkers aren’t always obsessed with the person they are stalking. Sometimes they will have developed an obsession, but they might be motivated by other factors too, like jealousy, revenge or they may be living with mental health issues.
The behaviour doesn’t have to go on for a long period of time before it is considered stalking. As soon as the way a person is acting becomes repeated and persistent, it can be classified as stalking.
Stalking can have serious short- and long-term emotional impacts on people who experience it. It shouldn’t be taken lightly or joked about.

Whatever the situation, it is never the fault of the person being stalked.

Stalking behaviours

Stalking can be very varied and could look different in every case, but there are some behaviours that you can look out for that might indicate stalking.

Someone might:

Turn up unexpectedly at places you are
Repeatedly call or message you
Continue to contact you after you have blocked them or told them not to
Speak to your friends or family about you
Repeatedly mention you directly or indirectly in social media posts
Track your movements and social media
Make up things about you that aren’t true in an attempt to damage your reputation
Try to threaten or blackmail you
Try to access your social media without your permission

Sometimes these behaviours may be framed as flattering or caring, for example they turn up at places when you’re hanging out with your friends because they care about you and want to see you. Other people might support this narrative too, but anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe is not ok.

Any of these behaviours in isolation may not amount to stalking, but they are all forms of harassment. If you are experiencing these behaviours or are worried about someone who is, seek support.

FOUR warning signs of stalking

Fixated – the person is not able to stop the behaviour, despite being asked to.

Obsessive – the person constantly finds new ways to contact, track or interfere with the person they are stalking.

Unwanted – the behaviour, whatever form it takes, is not wanted or appreciated by the person experiencing it.

Repeated – the unwanted behaviour has happened more than once.

Cyberstalking

Stalking is not just limited to happening in person, it can also be done partly or entirely online.

The internet, social media and mobile devices have made it much easier for people to contact, track and find out personal information about the person they are stalking.

For example, someone may use fake social media profiles to catfish the person they are stalking, giving them new ways of contacting and tracking the person. They may attempt to hack into and restrict access to the person’s social media accounts, to access more information and gain control.

Location-based tracking apps and tagged locations on social media can be used by stalkers to monitor a person’s whereabouts and key locations, such as their home and school. Technologies, like smart devices and tracking tags, also provide more opportunities for stalkers to enter the life of the person they are stalking.

Privacy settings and location tracking

Be in control of what other people can find out about you online by checking your privacy settings. These help you to stay safer online by allowing you to choose who can see what you post and share. You should also regularly review which apps and contacts can access your location data to make sure you know who can see what.

How to get help

Talk to an adult you trust. Speak to an adult you trust, such as a family member, teacher or youth worker, about what’s happening to you and how you feel. They will be able to support and help you.
Contact the police on 101. If it is an emergency, dial 999. Stalking is a crime and police officers will be able to advise you and take action if needed.
Speak to a support service. If you don’t feel like you can speak to an adult you know and trust, there are plenty of support services that offer free and confidential advice, like Childline. There are also organisations who can provide specialist help and support for young people who are experiencing stalking, like the National Stalking Helpline and Paladin Young People Services (for young people between 16-25).

What is online sexual harassment?

GIFs too
Sharing nudes of another person without their consent
Sending someone nudes they don’t want
Someone pressuring another person to send sexual images or have sexual conversations when they don’t want to
Sending someone pornography without their consent
Sharing sexual rumours about someone online
Taking sexual photos of someone without consent (also known as upskirting)
Threatening to share sexual rumours or photos of someone

What should I do if someone is sexually harassing me online?

All forms of sexual harassment are unacceptable. No one should ever think that it’s okay to make you feel uncomfortable.

If someone is sexually harassing you online, speak to someone who can help to make it stop.

Responding to unwanted sexual comments online

Take action if you see or hear about someone you know being targeted online:

Report comments. Social media platforms should not allow sexual harassment in the form of comments, photos and videos. If anything sexual is said to embarrass or hurt a young person, get it removed from the website or app by reporting it.
Speak to an adult. An adult you trust can help to report the incident(s) and stop it from happening again. If it’s happening between young people at school, a teacher should be able to step in and help.
Say something about sexual harassment. When communities, schools and friendship groups don’t speak out about the inappropriate and unwanted sexual comments people make, it can make these issues worse. Challenge sexual harassment by talking to others about how unacceptable these comments are, and how they can make people feel.

The impact of online sexual harassment

Online sexual harassment is not just “part of growing up” or “not that upsetting because it’s only online”.

Personal impact. Anyone who has experienced online sexual harassment is likely to feel upset, judged and humiliated. They may be at increased risk of experiencing mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. This might affect their education and future job opportunities.

School and community impact. Online sexual harassment can lead to unsafe environments for young people. Viewing online sexual harassment as normal or just a joke means that other people might join in to “fit in” with friends. This is never okay. Challenging online sexual harassment will help to keep healthy and positive school and community spaces.

Credit sources from (“Thinkuknow: An Online Safety for Teens”)