TeenTalk: First Date Deal Breakers for Boys & Girls
LoveIsRespect – Healthy Teen Dating
What instantly ruins a first date? What makes it great? Let’s break it down with honesty, humor, and real-life teen wisdom.
TeenThreads mission: Help teens understand what makes a first date safe, respectful, and enjoyable — and what instantly becomes a deal breaker.
Important: A first date should never feel pressured, unsafe, or uncomfortable. If it does, talk to a trusted adult.
Core truth: A great first date is built on respect, communication, and comfort — not perfection.
Quick Jump
TeenThreads Reality Check: A deal breaker isn’t about being picky — it’s about protecting your comfort, safety, and self‑respect.
1) First Date Deal Breakers
Instant red flags that end the vibe:
- Being rude to staff or strangers.
- Pressuring for physical affection.
- Talking only about yourself.
- Ignoring boundaries or saying “Relax, it’s not a big deal.”
- Showing up extremely late without communication.
- Being glued to your phone.
- Making sexual jokes or comments.
- Bragging nonstop.
- Not respecting personal space.
- Being dishonest or pretending to be someone you’re not.
2) First Date Do’s
- Be on time.
- Ask questions and listen.
- Respect boundaries immediately.
- Choose a safe, public place.
- Be polite to everyone around you.
- Keep your phone away unless needed.
- Be honest and authentic.
3) First Date Don’ts
- Don’t pressure for anything physical.
- Don’t overshare too fast.
- Don’t talk badly about exes.
- Don’t lie to impress them.
- Don’t choose unsafe or isolated locations.
- Don’t expect perfection — from them or yourself.
4) Should You Tell Your Parents?
Short answer: Yes — in most cases.
- They don’t need every detail — just the basics.
- They can help with transportation and timing.
- They care about safety, not controlling you.
- If telling them feels unsafe, talk to a school counselor instead.
5) Choosing the Right Date Location
The right place depends on comfort, personality, and safety.
- Comfort: Will both of you feel relaxed?
- Noise level: Can you talk without shouting?
- Cost: Keep it realistic — dating shouldn’t be financial stress.
- Safety: Public places are best for early dates.
- Personality: Choose something that fits both of you.
- Transportation: Can both of you get there safely?
6) Best First Date Ideas
- Café or smoothie shop
- Ice cream date
- Walk in a safe public park
- Mini‑golf
- Bowling
- Bookstore date
- School sports game
- Free museum day
7) Boundaries & Respect
- Ask before touching.
- Don’t pressure for hugs, photos, or anything physical.
- Respect “no,” “not now,” or silence.
- Don’t make sexual jokes or comments.
- Move at the pace of the slowest person.
8) Common Dating Mistakes to Avoid
- Trying too hard to impress.
- Talking only about yourself.
- Being glued to your phone.
- Going somewhere unsafe or isolated.
- Expecting physical affection.
- Ignoring red flags.
9) When to Get Help
- If you feel pressured or unsafe.
- If you’re confused about boundaries.
- If you’re unsure what’s healthy vs. unhealthy.
- If you feel overwhelmed or anxious about dating.
Trusted Resources (Active Links)
- Healthy Teen Dating
LoveIsRespect – Teen Dating Safety
KidsHealth – Crushes & Feelings - Boundaries & Consent
CDC – Consent & Respect - Mental Health & Emotions
NIMH – Teen Mental Health
Mental Health America – Youth Resources - School & Community Support
American School Counselor Association
20 Questions
- True or False: A first date must be expensive to be good.
- Which of the following is a safe first date location?
- A public café
- An isolated parking lot
- Someone’s bedroom
- A stranger’s house
- What is one dating “do”?
- True or False: You should pressure someone to say yes.
- Which of the following is a dating “don’t”?
- Listening
- Pressuring someone
- Respecting boundaries
- Asking questions
- What is one reason to choose a public place for a first date?
- True or False: You should tell your parents or a trusted adult where you’re going.
- Which of the following is a good first‑date behavior?
- Being on time
- Being rude to staff
- Talking only about yourself
- Ignoring their comfort
- What is one sign a date location is NOT a good choice?
- True or False: You should expect physical affection on a first date.
- Which of the following is a healthy expectation?
- The date might be awkward
- They might be shy
- They might say no to a second date
- All of the above
- What is one dating boundary you must respect?
- True or False: It’s okay to make sexual jokes on a first date.
- Which of the following is a good low‑cost date idea?
- Walk in a public park
- Going to an abandoned building
- Inviting them to your bedroom
- A dark, isolated alley
- What is one dating mistake to avoid?
- True or False: You should keep your phone away unless needed.
- Which of the following is a respectful way to end a date?
- “I had a great time, thank you.”
- “You owe me a second date.”
- “That was boring.”
- Leaving without saying anything
- What is one reason to tell a parent or trusted adult about your date?
- True or False: You should choose a date spot based only on what YOU want.
- Which of the following is a sign you should NOT go on a date yet?
- You feel pressured
- You feel unsafe
- You don’t understand boundaries
- All of the above
- What is one thing you should ALWAYS do on a date?
- True or False: Ghosting is a respectful way to end things.
- Finish the sentence: “Healthy dating means I ______.”
Answer Key
- False — cost does not equal quality.
-
- A public café.
- Being honest, listening, and respecting boundaries.
- False — pressure is never okay.
-
- Pressuring someone.
- It’s safer and more comfortable for both people.
- True — safety matters.
-
- Being on time.
- If it’s unsafe, isolated, or makes either person uncomfortable.
- False — affection must never be expected.
-
- All of the above.
- Any “no,” “not now,” or “I’m not comfortable.”
- False — sexual jokes can make people uncomfortable.
-
- Walk in a public park.
- Talking only about yourself, bragging, or being rude.
- True — it shows respect.
-
- “I had a great time, thank you.”
- They can help with safety, transportation, and timing.
- False — dating should consider both people’s comfort.
-
- All of the above.
- Be respectful, listen, and communicate clearly.
- False — ghosting is disrespectful.
- “…respect boundaries, communicate honestly, and keep things safe and comfortable.”